USO Day two: Kuwait
*photography note: all pictures in this entry are digital.*
We landed in Kuwait at the airport at jesus I have no idea oclock. It was just before dawn. If I remember correctly, we took off from Andrews at dawn, landed in Germany at Dawn and landed at Kuwait at dawn. I don't know if that's possible but that's how I remember it. When the plane landed, the whole back of the plane opened onto the Tarmac and they just started shoving all our piles of shit outside.
I looked outside and said to Dino "That's Kuwait outside." I don't think he said anything back. Because I don't think I said it in the first place. I don't know. We were pretty goddamn bleary.
Here is Dino, wishing he had backed out.
We walked off the plane onto the flightline. It was purple out with other colors that I didn't recognize or understand. I was really, really fucked in the face and head. The air was cold but really dry. I never felt that before.
We were all loaded on some buses and we drove out of Kuwait airport and drove for 2 hours on the highway to Camp Arafjan. I was vascilating between several feelings. I was so exhausted that I didn't want to live. I was so excited to be in a completely strange place. I kept thinking that the highway we were on was where that scene in Syriana took place, where George Cloony gets blown up. Dino was shlumped in a bus seat. I was listening to Mark Wills tell everyone stories about his visit to the White House. "We told the president how we had pulled my daughter out of school to come and see him. he asked for her teacher's name. And then he sat right down and wrote her a letter. Dear Mrs. So and so. I'm sorry that *** had to miss school today. She was busy visiting me in the Oval Office." We have that letter framed in my house." I whispered to Dino "But the letter was for the teacher. Why does he get to keep it in his house?"
I was so intensely curious about the country I was in. It was frustrating to be the property of the Army and not be able to just get off the bus and walk around.
I kept trying to see into people's cars to see what their faces were like.
The highway mostly just went through desert. Once in a while there would be a little campsite, or a corrugated steel wall around a small compound of cars and campsites. Someone on the bus told us that at that time of year, the people who live in Kuwait spend a lot of time out in the desert, living the way their ancestors did when they were Nomads. It's something almost everyone in Kuwait city does. It's a big part of their culture. . Some of our party on the bus said "Huh. What the hell is that about?" I said "Well we like to camp in the states. It's probably amazing. They probably cook traditional food. It must be incredible in the desert at night. Then the person who knew stuff pointed out that the small campsites and shacks are often very modern with sattelite tv and whatnot and everyone started making fun of them. I said "Isn't that like us and our huge RVs?" I thought Huh boy. I'm hated by the Country Western people already.
The person on the bus who seemed to know so much about Kuwait then told us some stuff about how they keep many wives. He then said "I don't understand their culture. THey can keep it."
Dino and I looked at each other. Okay. I'm sure they're relieved that they get to keep it. It would probably bum them out if they had to give their whole culture to some guy on a bus.
I would like to point out that all of this conversation took place between civilians. I never heard any talk like this from the people in the Army. More on that later...
As I looked out the window, I saw somethign I have never seen. As the sun rose, it got darker. The sun went from blazing yellow and white to deep orange and red the higher it got and the light it shone on the world got creepier and creepier. Like an upside-down sunset. Without any better information than my own reasoning, I think this is because when it is on the Horizon the sunlight skates under the dust and as it rises the light is filtered by the huge ammount of dust and sand and haze in the desert air. Later, as the sun actually climbs higher, it gets bright again. The desert, my friends, is weird...
The buses took us to camp Arajfan which is in the middle of Kuwait. There doesn't seem to be anything near there. As our bus came through the gate I saw other buses full of local people being brought in to work on the base. I also saw local people, with lunches in plastic bags, arriving for work on foot. So someone must live around there somewhere though I don't know where.
Camp Arafjan is a huge and very permanant looking presense of American military. well organized and purposeful buildings and paved roads, housing, a giant motor pool of sand colored vehicles of all shapes and sizes, all based on the Humvee.
We were taken to our quarters. I was given a nice, comfortable little room with a small bed. Dino was put in a barraks. he slept on a bunk in a big room with like twenty soldiers. Ha ha.
I shared a bathroom with Craig Morgan. I hadn't yet had any conversation with any country western singer though I'd met them all. I started to realize on the bus ride over that they had all been on this tour together many times and that I was the new guy. The only new guy. As I put my stuff in my room I heard Kenny Thomas say "Oh man I need coffee so bad. Do you have any coffee in your room?" He was literally moaning in pain. I looked in my room and there was a small jar of instant coffee there with a bit left at the bottom. My room had a tiny kitchenette as we all did. I really wanted that coffee. But I took it across to Kenny's room. I knocked on his door and he opened it . I held up the jar. he grabbed it. "Aw, thanks, man. Thank you so much." I am the greatest person alive. That's the point of that story.
We were then taken to the DEFAC (dining facility) for whatever meal that was at that time. I think it was breakfast. Outside the defac was a wash station, something I got used to seeing. People have to wash like surgeons before they enter a defac over there. I washed my hands and couldn't find a towel or paper towel. After looking for about thirty seconds I realized my hands were totally dry. Oh yeah. I'm in the desert.
One really surprising thing about being in that warzone, though Kuwait was not yet the warzone, is that the food in the army is very very good. I mean, it's not delicious. It's just huge portions of whatever you want and it's all well cooked, wholesome, not processed actual food. This was one of those meals.
The DEFAC was completely staffed by local Kuwaitis. All of the soldiers who were served in line ahead of us, I noticed, were pointedly polite to these people. "May I have some scrambled eggs please? Thank you very much." Then one of our Country Western guys slammed his tray down "Yeah I'm gonna go ahead and have some of them bisquits... please." He seemed to realize how he sounded.
We sat down to eat. I sat with Dino and the cheerleaders. Dino and I had started talking to the cheerleaders at Andrews Airforce base. These are very young and very hot... cheerleaders. The kind of women, well girls, that I never had a shot with in my entire life and still don't. But we quickly learned that these girls can really laugh and I found that there is little more fun, especially on a USO tour, than making girls like that laugh really really hard. So we sat and cackled with our pet cheerleaders.
After a while I noticed that the country singers were all sprayed around the defac, eating with soldiers, meeting them and keeping them company. I thought to myself "oh yeah. I'm here for a reason. What an ass." So I moved over to another table and sat with four young guys.
They had been stationed for a long times in the Mountains in Iraq. They all had scars from shrapnel on their faces and had this sort of giggly nervous quality. They had clearly all lived through some intense things but they were funny and friendly. I'm gathering that everyone in Kuwait is on their way to or on their way back from Iraq or Afghanistan. So people are either uncertain, wary and gloomy, or exhausted, uprooted and uncertain.
After our meal we were taken to the command center of camp Arafjan. We were given one of what would be a series of briefings, where they tell us all about the camp and what happens there.
First we went into this "War room" type place where they introduced us to all the people who run the command center and showed us a movie with very dramatic music and graphics, about how what goes on in Camp Arafjan.
I honestly forgot most of it but what left an impression on me is what I think they wanted to leave as an impression, because throughout the film they printed all the statistics of the camp very large across the screen as a narrator said the numbers very dramatically. I don't remember the actual numbers but it was something along the lines of.. "500,000 gallons of fuel are burned each week. 3,000 air missions are flown out of Arafjan. We ship 48,000,000 tons of supplies by air across Iraq. 623,000,000 gallons of water are consumed here each day." That kind of thing. Everywhere we went they would pronounce these numbers in an impressive way. I didn't understand the message here. It was staggering, how many resources were being burned through every day to sustain these many American, Western Hemispheric lives in this ancient desert. Were they telling us this because it shows how important the camp is to the war effort? Was this in case we hear of base closings and Camp Arafjan is on the list? It seemed, on the face of it, like bragging about the absurdity of the situation. Like "Can you believe how crazy all this is? And we're not even being shot at here."
We then went into a conference room where the camp commander talked to us more and told us that almost everything needed to run the camp was provided by the Kuwaiti people, who are still very glad that we are there and that they are not part of Iraq. They provide the facilities and feed all of our soldiers. They build our camps, our bases.
he asked for questions. I asked what "Arafjan" means. He said that Kuwait City is already planned to expand over the next decades and that this vast desert has been designated to be a suburb of Kuwait City about thirty years from now and that it's going to be called "Arafjan" I said "But do you know what the word "Arafjan" means? He said "It's a kind of flower." I could feel everyone calling me a faggot in their heads.
After all the education, we were given awards. They called each person up and the base commander handed us each a certificate of appreciation and a coin. The certificate said things like "Your contributions to the command significantly enhanced the Morale of all military and civilian personel" and whatnot.
They called my name and I got mine...
And one of the greatest moments of my life is Dino getting his... for coming with me and not doing anything, he was honored by the COMANDER, a Colonel, and the Sergeant Major of the base.
That was our first day. It was kind of a shitty day, all told. I have to say that, although a lot of the information we were given felt like propaganda, the people that imparted it to us, the folks we met at the base up to the Colonel, were all very nice, professional, humorous and warm folks . It was important to them that we hear this and that we tell the folks at home what they're doing. I think that's a big deal to everyone in the military. I think that they think, and think rightly, that no one has any idea the enormity of what they are pulling off out there. And I understand that and I respect it. But the feeling was lurking in me "This is a giant waste. All this could be put to good, including the intention, energy and talent of these people. What a huge ammount of everything must be flown in just to keep them alive and comfortable after their customs in a very hostile place." I'm just saying that's a feeling I was having as I walked around this base. It was alongside a lot of other feelings. As you meet the occupying military, one face at a time, you start to develop a picture of people who have added this to their plan for life and they all have a variety of reasons. But they are all earnest. They're all working hard. They're all trying to survive and they're all supporting each other. That's what really speaks loudest. Even all the operations statistics we were quoted seemed to say "At this camp we are making sure that these men and women that we have in these frightening war zones have everything they need". That's the main thing that is going on with those folks. Everyone's not over there saying "Good thing George Bush sent us here." or "Fuck John Kerry" or "ha ha we got Saddam" Or even "Here we are protecting America's freedom." They never talk about that. And when you say something to them like "Thanks for your service" They just sort of say "Sure. NO problem." like you're thanking them for getting the door cause you had two grocery bags.
Instead, they're all talking about what they're doing, who needs what? what is your job? Do those folks have what they need? How was your day over here? What's the plan tomorrow? What are you training for now?"
So that's really what you come away with when you spend time with them. But occasionally you look at the whole thing and say "Jesus. Could they put this enormous energy, will, dedication and courage to use somewhere at home? And also not have to be sustained at such a high price?"
As you can tell I"m very ambivilant about all this. When you get told what it takes to keep these guys over there, and you actually meet the people doing the work, it really fucks with your point of view. It doesn't push you over to one idea or another, it stretches you thin across many feelings.
I was also feeling a bit useless. We had shaken a lot of hands and signed some autographs on this day and I hadn't told one joke. SO I wasn't feeling like my presence there had any real value yet.
Okay that's it for this one. I went to sleep. I slept very very deeply. The next day I would FINALLY get on a stage.
Posted by Louie in on March 11, 2009 | Comments [ 5 ]
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Do you feel that you were being fed the company line a lot, or was it generally cool?
Thanks for writing...I love reading it.
Awesome pics and prose, Lou. Keep going.
Saw you in Noho last week. Great fucking show. Hilarious. Seriously, hilarious long set. Thanks for the great show.
Great stuff. As for them bragging statistics, that's more than likely the result of command staff wanting to convey tangibles to visiting politicos, and they just ran it for you guys because, fuck it, it sounds impessive. Also, a lot of these guys are tired of either being associated with Abu Ghraib or being relegated to a magnetic ribbon on the back of our SUVs, so I think they like talking about their actual jobs.
Bummer...
Just discovered you (can't believe I've got so far through life and had never heard of you until last week!) and now find out that you were in Kuwait just a few weeks ago. That's where I live and work (as a teacher in an international school).
Had I (a) known you existed a few weeks earlier, and (b) known you were coming to Kuwait, I'd have driven out to the desert, climbed the camp fence and shimmied past the marines on guard to shake your hand - you are a comedy god!
Thanks for making me laugh many times this week.
Steve C.